


Growing Pains

by aamberderu, Telefonbox



Category: Shrek Series, andreas kieling - Fandom
Genre: 6625 synonyms for love sausage, Crack, F/M, M/M, Other, maggi, shrekporn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:30:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7908283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aamberderu/pseuds/aamberderu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telefonbox/pseuds/Telefonbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a midnight mistake</p><p>Andreas Kielingngng spends his sad and unique life in a cave surounded by bachen and the overwhelming essence of maggi that rises from the nearby bachensuhlen. His dick only throbbs for the maggifiscent of his oberbache gertrud. his preferences are eating mud and grilled bark under the nightsky with his beloved gertrud BUT(t) then one fine day as he was walking, enjoying nature in its purest form he encounters the thought to be dead legend, harambe. what happens next will shock you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Growing Pains

**Author's Note:**

> please know that this work of fiction is by no means to be taken seriously. andreas if u read this we are very sorry and we pray for you to find the real bache every day. also the maggi see is a german word and see means lake so dont be confused. we are going to kermit now. we are sorry. also a bache is an animal pls educate urselfes byE   
> \- (har)amber
> 
> ps: i had to fucking type all of this shit i'm in pain.com and the works title is a reference to that (absolutely not a randomly chosen song from my itunes) (listen to growing pains by neck deep)

andreas was riding his mighty bache throughout the forests. it was a beautiful summer evening in the year 2030.   
after finally encountering the bache he searched for over 5 decades he made the most of it and decided to settle down with the mighty bache near the maggi see. with that he is always surrrounded by his favourite thing in the world; maggi.   
but his thirst for wildlife and dick cant be clenched by just one bache.   
so now he is set on finding the one legend, that he, despite the lacking internet connection, heard of; king harambe, the one and only, bravest of all gorillas.   
andreas had his dick out.   
his bache, gertrud, was jealous of his devotion for harambe. she refused to let him ride her any further and kicked him off his back, as she set off to find maggikarp alone.   
andreas lay in the woods. he was injured by a bache once more in his life. his tears spilled even though he was trying to keep his image of the andreas kieling he once used to be.   
by the time he had managed to get up, despite his lefts foot pinky being slightly stubbed, he limped through the woods in the desperate search of his bache.  
suddenly he noticed a shadow following him around the woods. as he turned around to confront the mysterious entity he could not belive his eyes. there he was, maggiestically standing on his stump leg that he acquired in an epic fight according to the books andreas once skipped through, shia labeauf.   
shia levitated towards andreas, since he couldnt walk anymore and took in his legendary motivational pose. andreas watched in awe as shia summoned a familiar object in his hand. he felt like he had seen it before but wait, wasnt that the spastkiste that he had once seen an old man use many years ago on the search for the bache?   
apparently one could find maggic flussbachen with this apparatus that could grant a wish that one carries deep within ones heart.   
shia handed this to andreas whose tears had subsided out of astonishment. then he spoke: "just do it. take this spastkiste to find your deepest desires". with that he mysteriously vanished back into the woods.   
andreas didnt even get to say goodbye. 'see you space cowboy,' andreas thought sadly to himself and continued his search, now with the spastkiste at hand.   
andreas walked a few meters with his now completely healed toe, as he realised that dusk had already come upon.   
the hero of the epic tale needed a place to stay at since the dark night threatened him. his bache was gone and so was the constant smell of the many kernbohrungen he had gone through with her by his side.   
andreas got ripped out of his thoughts as he made out the shape of a luxiorious mansion on the horizon. it was slightly hidden under the long dead stump of a tree and set on the grounds of a well-kept swampy environment.   
he gathered all his courage to take the last few steps towards those doors and knocked.   
the blonde explorer was let in shortly and was encountered by the intoxicating smell of burned earwax candles and raw beef seasoned with the thoroughly cut layers of onions.   
the man standing in the doorway sported a strong broad chest, slender yet muscular legs that surely could carry his mass at the highest speeds, a unique facade that looked like it was sculpted by an ancient greek artist to be kept remembered centuries after its creation, his ears were exeptionally big and andreas instinctively wanted to sensually suck on them.   
he tried to control his raging errection that was starting to form in his hiking shorts.   
the stranger let his eyes wander over andreas slender once twinky and now saggy body and let out a deep approving groan of euphoria at the thought of what was gonna happen tonight.   
he montioned andreas to come closer with his big meaty hands.   
andreas was mesmerised and thoroughly turned on and complied immediately. once they stood face to face andreas dropped to his knees to nuzzle the strangers pulsating ring ding dong through the thin fabric of the formers sexy brown leather thights. the spastkiste is left forgotten as andreas eagerly proceeds to spread his buttcheeks for the green stranger. he was penetrated by the ogre choad and happily worked together towards their hot screaming ogreasms.   
afterwards andreas felt a little embarrassed for being overcome by this sudden arousal and secretly ran off with the spastkiste after getting some sleep and much needed pocket rocket.


End file.
